Pretty much everything Titus Andromedon says on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is worthy of being embroidered on a pillow. So with the series' final episodes arriving Jan. 25, it's only right to honor his character by reliving some of the best Titus lines from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. These 23 quotes don't cover every hilarious line he's ever said (there are just too many!), but they'll be enough to make you want to re-watch.
Titus may have been given the name of Ronald Wilkerson at birth, but he was destined to become the fabulous, floundering Titus Andromedon we've come to know him as. And since Kimmy began rooming with him in his basement apartment, his life has drastically (not dramatically — 'cause he already had that covered) improved. Yet, even when he's not living his best life (which is pretty much always), he knows how to deliver a line with the perfect combination of sass and panache.
While Titus has grown a lot as a person and friend throughout the course of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, he's also proved himself to be a comedy gold mine. And really, that will be his legacy on the show. So before you say farewell to one of the most memorable characters to ever grace your TV screen, here are just some of the best Titus quotes.
In the very first episode, Titus makes it clear where his loyalties lie — with himself!
Don't worry about Titus, Kimmy. He's pretty and tough.
Productivity is not one of Titus' strong suits.
Not only is this depressingly hilarious, but it's the first time that Titus and Mikey interacted.
As Titus tells Lillian, "Lyrics are the least important part of any song."
Titus comes to a sad realization after he spends the day in his Frankenwolf costume from Professor Dracula's Spooky Laboratory and Bar & Grill. "Security guards don't follow me around in stores, dogs have stopped barking at me, and no one mistook me for Samuel L. Jackson all day," he adds about the benefits of no longer being racially profiled.
Thus begins Titus teaching Kimmy that tubes make up the internet. (And the first of many Tilda Swinton jokes.)
This moment from "Kimmy Rides a Bike!" may be the first time that Titus says his signature interjection of "Foop!"
Titus has spoken of white nonsense before, but it's in "Kimmy Rides a Bike!" that he gives these actions — like kissing a dog — a name.
Titus' private song about being famous and subsequent meltdown on Durnsville TV cannot be described in one single quote. He just wants to start over and be a baby, Carol! (Plus, that joke about being a baby ties back to 30 Rock.)
The man responsible for the Kimmy Schmidt theme song, Walter Bankston, tells Titus that fame is a "double-edged sword," but Titus clearly doesn't understand the warning.
Titus likes to put his own spin on the phrase "Bye, Felicia," like when he considers fleeing to Canada: "I hear Montreal has a vibrant theater scene, so au revoir, les Felicieuses."
Face journeys, like talking, are banned from the library.
Titus needs time to emerge from his cocoon before his first date with Mikey.
Mikey thinks Titus' hand is so smooth because it really is a mannequin hand. But how else can Titus hold hands and eat a sandwich?
Titus panics during an audition and creates this beautifully bizarre song that highlights why he's not so into dental hygiene. The tooth fairy is a demon stealing baby teeth!
Titus has some understandable concerns about living on a cruise ship.
Sorry, Lillian — Titus will not be your Whoopi Goldberg (channeling Patrick Swayze) to your Demi Moore.
Walking is also not one of Titus' strong suits.
Titus was proud of himself and Kimmy for leading more grown-up lives.
Do any of us truly understand the algorithms that social media and streaming sites use to make suggestions for us? Well, Titus has figured out that it's really Vice President Al Gore behind Netflix.
Without Titus, the world wouldn't have even know that it was in need of an antonym for "backfire."
There may be only six episodes left of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, but Titus is bound to make the most of them before saying his final, "au revoir, les Felicieuses."
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